The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.

I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.

Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.