The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

I'm not one of those who spring up yelling, "Yippee! Another day!" I'll grumble and sulk around a couple of hours, reading newspapers and trying to pick out an idea I might do something with on the show. But I don't really start functioning until noon or later; then about two I go to the studio and the pace begins to quicken.