We have two kinds of air: regular and chunky style.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

The price of Christmas toys is outrageous - a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.