The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.

Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.

I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.

I've worked ever since I was a kid with a two-bit kit of magic tricks trying to improve my skills at entertaining whatever public I had - and to make myself ready, whenever the breaks came, to entertain a wider and more demanding public.