The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.

Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.

I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.

Having money gives me the freedom to worry about the things that really matter.

Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!