Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.

I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.

I'm not one of those who spring up yelling, "Yippee! Another day!" I'll grumble and sulk around a couple of hours, reading newspapers and trying to pick out an idea I might do something with on the show. But I don't really start functioning until noon or later; then about two I go to the studio and the pace begins to quicken.

Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.

It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.