Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.