Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.

I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

I get sick of that old rationalization, "We're staying together because of the children." Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.

Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.

When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.