It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself".

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.