I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.

Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I don't want but one woman. It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth.

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.