There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.

I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.

I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.

I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.

The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear.