Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself".

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear.

I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.