I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

Like their parents, kids flock to see James Bond and Derek Flint movies - outrageously antiheroic heroes who break all the taboos, making attractive the very things the kids are told they shouldn't do themselves.

According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.

Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.