I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.