Coal mining is tough. Acting is just tedious.

I don't remember the first stunt I ever did.

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind.

I love the tabloids except for when I'm in 'em. Especially with the stuff they wrote about Jessica and I - it's obviously not true.

A lot of stand-up comedy guys, when they get a little famous, just give up their stand-up career, and it cancels out the thing that set them apart.

I'm so uncoordinated, I can't really do that much, so my specialty is standing in one spot or holding on to something, like an exploding rocket or a jetski.

But I can still lick the spoon!