I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.