I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.

Being 'Johnny' was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I'd created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that.

I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.