The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really.

I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them.

There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.

Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things.