Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.
Johnny VegasThere's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.
Johnny VegasI came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion.
Johnny VegasI've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.
Johnny Vegas