I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers.

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.

I've got my finger in a lot of pies.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.