I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.

I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then having those moments where they sit around and go, "Are we reporting the news correctly? I think we are." And then they go back to the and the cycle just sort of continues.

Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.

Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?

If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.