If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

Apparently the only time the press gets it right is when the White House illegally leaks it to them.

How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.

Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair.