You feel kind of weird cheering for chaos. There is that sense that the crazier it gets, the better off we are. Before, when I was part of the American public, I was hoping for a reasonable and quick solution to the impeachment process. Now, I'm hoping for partisan bedlam and chaos. It's really what serves me best.

I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.

I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.

I know change can be painful. But from change comes growth.

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's "offensive to the religion of Islam." Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.

The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.

We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.