You feel kind of weird cheering for chaos. There is that sense that the crazier it gets, the better off we are. Before, when I was part of the American public, I was hoping for a reasonable and quick solution to the impeachment process. Now, I'm hoping for partisan bedlam and chaos. It's really what serves me best.

I can't believe I'm comforting a billionaire.

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.

When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.