I watch a lot of astronaut movies....Mostly Star Wars. And even Han and Chewie use a checklist.

The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.

I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

Everyone just needs to get over themselves.

Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.

America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you'd put on the end of your child's pencil.

Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.