Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.

When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?

Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?

So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.

How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

You may be asking yourself, 'Am I the right type of person to go to this rally?' The fact that you would even stop to ask yourself that question, as opposed to, let's say, just jumping up, grabbing the nearest stack of burnable holy books, strapping on a diaper and pointing your car towards D.C. -- that means I think you just might be right for it.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.