Everyone just needs to get over themselves.

Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.

Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

In whose delusional mind is democracy made 'better' by allowing wealthy people to control more of it?

The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing a candidate to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure to the harsh weather of independent thought.

[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, "I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud," all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.