Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.

Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.

How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.

Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance.