Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

I want a sandwich named after me.

Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!

I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media.

New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm a little bit too obsessed with the news. I find the news easier to follow than narrative entertainment programs.