Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as "job creator." You can't even use the word rich. You have to say, "This chocolate cake is so moist and job creator."

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.

North Korea is making several demands in exchange for giving up their nuclear program, including a promise from America not to attack them. Which is a little strange because for us to attack them we would have to have slam dunk proof that they have weapons of mass destruction. I mean, for Gods sakes people, we're not maniacs. It would have to be an air-tight case. We wouldn't just come in there and start bombing you.

Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment's peace in your life. You will always be wanting the next song.

I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.