You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.

If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.

The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars.

I'm not a very serious Jew. I don't wear the protective religious headgear. They only wear that because 40% of all religious thoughts escape through the head.

And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.