We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'

You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.

Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.

Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it's something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.