If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents to interview the other 18 percent.

Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

I am sick of deconstructing their propaganda, because it's pretty much the same as it's always been. It's just repeating something over and over again until we believe it and we hope that you believe it.

That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.