If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.

[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

I want a sandwich named after me.

The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing a candidate to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure to the harsh weather of independent thought.