It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.

9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.

You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting reactions on our show. People are constantly saying, "I love your-your show is so funny, until you made a joke about global warming, which is a serious issue, and I can't believe you did that. And I am never watching your show again."

Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting.

Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.