The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.

They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.

[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.

I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again.