So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.

I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'

I was born in New York City, but I was raised in New Jersey, part of the great Jewish emigration of 1963.

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.

If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?