Are you worried that, when you go to hell, you'll only be taking the local and not be on the express? Why would you look for a loophole to deny coverage to children with preexisting conditions?

Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again.

The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'

To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

If you smell something, say something.

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.