I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

Bill Russell, a famous philosopher from Boston Celtics once "When things go bad, things go bad." The [Iraq] war was terribly mismanaged-it was terribly mismanaged.

That is the American experiment. An ethnic group arriving on America's shores, to be reviled and hazed, living in squalor, or if they are lucky Squalor Heights, working hard to give their children or grandchildren the opportunity to sh*t on the next group landing on our shores.