People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.

President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents to interview the other 18 percent.

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

I'm a little bit too obsessed with the news. I find the news easier to follow than narrative entertainment programs.

How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.

Some would argue that the president himself benefited from a form of affirmative action because as a C student, he only got into Yale because his father was a wealthy alumnus. But the White House counters that Saddam is a menace and must be stopped.

We have standards. Anybody with the kind of journalism experience and professionalism that you have displayed over these years can not work for my program.