Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.

[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're up against Bush and the Republicans - you've got to bring some zing. Don't call them timetables - call them 'Patriot Dates', 'Freedom Deadlines'... 'Glory Goals'.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

The President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come."

I want a sandwich named after me.