You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City. The traditional meal often includes gefilte fish. For those of you who don't know what gefilte fish is, it strongly resembles a ball of tuna fish that has been passed nasally. It's not good. During Passover, the angel of death passed over the Jews - an event that, up until the late 1950s, was re-enacted every year by Ivy League colleges and suburban country clubs.

So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.

Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.