You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

Everyone just needs to get over themselves.

Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.

Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.

Here it is. My moment of zen.

The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.

President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth.