You know, I've always wanted to be a young Charles Kuralt. I started in this business with just a Winnebago and a dream.

You know, I just want to say to her (Sarah Palin), just very quickly...F-- you.

That, what we're really seeing in Iraq is not a terrible war, but in fact, just the media's portrayal of it.

The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.

You feel kind of weird cheering for chaos. There is that sense that the crazier it gets, the better off we are. Before, when I was part of the American public, I was hoping for a reasonable and quick solution to the impeachment process. Now, I'm hoping for partisan bedlam and chaos. It's really what serves me best.

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.