My friend Bill O’Reilly is completely full of sh*t.

I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.

No one is better at not beating America than England.

North Korea is making several demands in exchange for giving up their nuclear program, including a promise from America not to attack them. Which is a little strange because for us to attack them we would have to have slam dunk proof that they have weapons of mass destruction. I mean, for Gods sakes people, we're not maniacs. It would have to be an air-tight case. We wouldn't just come in there and start bombing you.

Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.