61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

I think, with the administration they do Constitutionally-mandated things most of the time, but they don't - they fulfill the letter of their obligation to checks and balances, but not the intent.

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?

No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.

Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.

The trial of Enron chiefs Jeffrey Skilling and Ken Lay began four-and-a-half years after perpetrating -- allegedly -- the fraud that led to the second largest bankruptcy in American history. Why four-and-a-half years? Because apparently it's harder to bring Ken Lay to trial than it is to invade two countries.

On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.