61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?

President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth.

Here's the thing about global warming that I didn't realize: it would all happen at once.

In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am.

I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even going to be consistent with the same person. People can hold liberal and conservative dogma points at the same time. They're not living their lives via platforms. They're living their lives. The whole thing is an awfully tired construct.

You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!