Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.

Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.

You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.

[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.