The conversation topic in my head is not what role I should play; it is whether I am going to play at all.

I'm pretty aware that the pursuit of perfection is, inherently, a flawed concept.

I like to think I play rugby as it should be played - there are no yellow or red cards in my collection - but I cannot say I'm an angel.

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

Failing at something is one thing, but Buddhism tells us that it is up to us how we interpret that failure [Buddhism] a philosophy and way of life that resonates with me I identify with it. I agree with so much of the sentiment behind it. I enjoy the liberating effect it's had on me to get back into the game Buddhism, with its concepts of karma and rebirth, have freed me from the twin fears of death and life without rugby, like life, will also come to an end.

I'm not necessarily proud of the World Cups and the grand slams won or lost, the amount of points I scored, this record or that.

Playing the game, representing the team, giving my all and never letting go has meant everything to me.