The conversation topic in my head is not what role I should play; it is whether I am going to play at all.

I know that Martin Johnson [the England coach] was in the stands, but I didn't feel it was up to me to impress them. He and his assistant [Brian Smith] were here to support me.

I do, have done and always will believe that I am very capable of performing and thriving at any level of the sport.

Right through to the end of the last World Cup game, I still couldnt bear the thought of not being perfect or letting people down.

Playing the game, representing the team, giving my all and never letting go has meant everything to me.

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

For me now, I will continue to focus ever harder on my goal of being the very best I can be with Toulon Rugby Club and continue to embrace and enjoy wherever that path takes me.