I do, have done and always will believe that I am very capable of performing and thriving at any level of the sport.

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

My own position is so far on the obsessive side of preparation and professionalism that I fear my point of view is not going to be shared by anyone.

The conversation topic in my head is not what role I should play; it is whether I am going to play at all.

Failing at something is one thing, but Buddhism tells us that it is up to us how we interpret that failure [Buddhism] a philosophy and way of life that resonates with me I identify with it. I agree with so much of the sentiment behind it. I enjoy the liberating effect it's had on me to get back into the game Buddhism, with its concepts of karma and rebirth, have freed me from the twin fears of death and life without rugby, like life, will also come to an end.

I play with a fear of letting my team down. That's what motivates me.

To say I have played through four World Cups, two Lions tours, 91 international games and a ridiculous number of injuries and other setbacks gives me an incredibly special feeling of fulfilment. I know myself well enough to know that I will never truly be satisfied.