I do, have done and always will believe that I am very capable of performing and thriving at any level of the sport.

Failing at something is one thing, but Buddhism tells us that it is up to us how we interpret that failure [Buddhism] a philosophy and way of life that resonates with me I identify with it. I agree with so much of the sentiment behind it. I enjoy the liberating effect it's had on me to get back into the game Buddhism, with its concepts of karma and rebirth, have freed me from the twin fears of death and life without rugby, like life, will also come to an end.

I know that Martin Johnson [the England coach] was in the stands, but I didn't feel it was up to me to impress them. He and his assistant [Brian Smith] were here to support me.

I do, have done and always will believe that I am very capable of performing and thriving at any level of the sport.

Playing the game, representing the team, giving my all and never letting go has meant everything to me.

What I am proud of is I have searched for the best of me and I have been a team man without fail.

When you're obsessive, like me, searching for something unattainable can become unhealthy ... it's like falling through the air and grabbing at the clouds.