Failing at something is one thing, but Buddhism tells us that it is up to us how we interpret that failure [Buddhism] a philosophy and way of life that resonates with me I identify with it. I agree with so much of the sentiment behind it. I enjoy the liberating effect it's had on me to get back into the game Buddhism, with its concepts of karma and rebirth, have freed me from the twin fears of death and life without rugby, like life, will also come to an end.

The conversation topic in my head is not what role I should play; it is whether I am going to play at all.

I would like to wish the England squad every success. I would also very much like to extend those wishes to Martin Johnson, Brian Smith, Mike Ford, John Wells, Graham Rowntree and the rest of the England 2011 World Cup management team who have been fantastic and deserve people to know that.

The problem with me is I always think I should've done better. I felt that after the World Cup final and through my whole career.

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

Right through to the end of the last World Cup game, I still couldnt bear the thought of not being perfect or letting people down.

What I am proud of is I have searched for the best of me and I have been a team man without fail.