What do you call a planet where bad guys stroll through life with success draped around their shoulders like a King’s cloak, while random horrors are visited upon the innocent heads of children? I call it Earth.

And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Mr. Watras asked me whether I was practicing, and I told him I was practicing my tissue basketball skills.

Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls

I tucked him in with his stuffed-animal pet dog—cleverly named Dog-Dog, by the way.

Well your mom was right, in a way. What do you mean? He DID fall, right? So he wasn’t safe on the stool. Thanks, Annette. Thanks a lot. That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. You’re a very inspiring person, you know that?