Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

I tucked him in with his stuffed-animal pet dog—cleverly named Dog-Dog, by the way.

Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor. Person #1: And how's that working out for you? Me: Well, you see, I, uh, used to have leukemia. Person #2: Dude, how come you're not, like, BALD? Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I had acute lymphocytic lymphoma when I was five. Person #3: Whoa. THAT must'a sucked. I once had my tonsils out.

What do you call a planet where bad guys stroll through life with success draped around their shoulders like a King’s cloak, while random horrors are visited upon the innocent heads of children? I call it Earth.

I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.