Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Men who have much to say use the fewest words.

Music wasn't made to make us wise, but better natured.

Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.

Silence is a still noise.

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.