Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

A man cannot learn to be wise any more than he can learn to be handsome.