Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks.

Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with.

Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Morally considered, laughter is next to the Ten Commandments.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.