Vanity is a strange passion; rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

If the world despises a hypocrite, what must they think of him in heaven?

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles.