Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.

I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.

Advice can be like cod liver oil, easy enough to administer but not so pleasant to take for anybody.

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.