There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.

Everyone who does the best he can is a hero.

Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed; the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.

Theres not a lot of good humor in medicine, but theres a lot of medicine in good humor.