Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.

True valor is like honesty; it enters into all that a man sees and does.

Nature makes all the noblemen; wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.

Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.