There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

Pity costs nothing, and it ain't worth nothing.

You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.