Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.

It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.

Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject